I love that jocky thing!

This past weekend I had the fantastic idea to turn on my old computer again for the first time in about five years. Mildly shocked that the old machine was still working I checked out the folder entitled "Pictures". Now I've been somewhat of a papparrazzi all my life and to my great pleasure now I took a ton of pictures back when that computer was stnding in my room. I was exposed to no less than one billion pictures depicting me pretty much everywhere I went between 2006 and 2008. My memory always sucked so I had actually forgotten about most of these places I went. The biggest shock, however, was seeing how incredibly chubby I used to be.

I suppose I always knew I was a little bigger in my teenage years. Even a couple of years ago I think there was more of me than now. However, I have not gained or lost a pound in a decade and I certainly hadn't seen any of these pictures so I had no idea how dorky I used to look. On the old computer I found pictures I remember thinking "Damn Sina, that's a good shot of you!" only to shriek back in apphaul now. I don't mind I looked crap, I was only 19 years old. I'm not even sure anyone's supposed to look good at that age. The truth is that I have actually made quite the transformation, and although I didn't realize it, it's mainly due to weight loss.

So I have not tried to actually lose weight for a second of my life. I've tried to get fit, to improve my condition or speed up my metabolism but I never lost so much as an ounce due to diets or work outs. In the past couple of years I have started to like working out though, and once you like it it's no longer torturous to do. Today, if I haven't worked out in a few days I can feel my mood deterioating and my "depressions" coming back. The doctor that diagnosed me with depressions was what kinda got me started on the whole work out therapy only to find out it was the most ridiculous and wrong diagnosis ever. In the meantime I had already toned my stomach and was lookin good.  

Not only does sport make me happy in general, looking good is also pretty fun and if I ever had depressions looking healthy and fit would cheer me up alone. Since I'm one of the least superficial people in the world the statement I'm going to make will hopefully not be misunderstood but I LOVE being skinny. I didn't realize I was acttually skinny but I love wearing shorts and tight shirts. I might have some cellulite getting started in my butt area but gosh, how fun it is to not wear actual pants and feel good about it. As soon as the first sunrays are out I wear nothing but shorts, not regarding if people think I can wear it or not. Some might still think I can't wear it but I think I look cute!

I have also made the experience that I naturally started getting into a better diet once I was active. Not even two years ago I had never eaten a salad. Now I come home from an exhausting day and make one for myself and it's not even a penalty, I genuinely indulge. In the summer I have a hard time eating anything but fruits and veg (and BBQ meat, there's no problem with that ever!). My friend told me the other day once a dietary habit has been fought for five weeks it becomes normal and I suppose that's what happened. Only I never fought. I realize this is harsh to say because many people want to lose weight all their lives. It's not like I never struggled to stay fit and healthy, and God knows I make exceptions all the time but in the end I have realized how worth it is and that made it fairly easy for me to pursue. And now I look and feel great!