Tonight, I was fining myself on my balcony with my flatmate after a glass of wine, singing along to Beyonce. Yes, a normal Tuesday night acknowledging our generation's biggest boss. For the first 13 years of my life, I always tried to hate what others loved, and vice versa. But I woke up, thank God! And would you look at that, I just said 13 since that was exactly the age I was when I first bought a record that Beyonce was involved in. "Survivor" by Destiny's Child. I had learned enough English to know what "child" meant in German, but I thought "Destiny" was a person, and the band was named after her daughter. And although I couldn't understand her words, I realised tonight that Beyonce influenced me with them then, without me knowing.
"Survivor" is what we were singing tonight. I can translate what I was singing age 13 today. And man, is that one easy message to get behind, right? I didn't even know then that I was one such "survivor". I didn't know what it meant to "survive" because that means there would have to be a threat to overcome, and I hadn't been threatened. Yep, cute! Not so much now. I believe I actually did survive at times, rather than just getting through things. I learned the only way, the "hard" way, that "after all of the darkness and sadness, soon comes happiness", and that "if I surround myself with positive things, I'll gain prosperity". Although it's a good song, only life can teach you just HOW good it is.
I wasn't particularly raised to be a strong woman by my family. I did go to a Catholic all-girls private school where being a girl was obviously not an issue. The premise of the school was "we can do everything a boy can" which, I know now, is incomplete: it's about doing the things men do just as well. The things I am most proud of achieving in my life are things that can compete with whatever a man can achieve, not just women. And for that, I had to be a survivor because that just isn't reality just yet. I don't want to feel good about having achieved something as a woman; I want to just achieve whatever is possible - for everyone.
Beyonce is a great example of that. She isn't just a woman, she's also also a racial minority. Both being black and a woman usually doesn't help achieving (anything!). And of course, her talent makes up for some of that. She's just a fucking great artist. But let's not talk about how great Beyonce is because everyone knows already. What is significant to me is that she has found a way, through pop music, through visuals, through fashion and through empowerment, to shape a young girl that wasn't even aware she could be influenced. At age 30, I am able to see her for her artistic achievement but I need to also acknowledge her for the change she has caused in my life when I was barely able to make my own decisions yet.
I went through the lyrics of "Survivor" and genuinely couldn't find a line I don't understand today. Shit, I've been through some bullshit in this life. And none of that made me quit. Obviously Beyonce was barely older than me at the time and probably didn't know what she was singing about either. But I'm sure she does now. She has pulled off things that aren't even feasible rationally, like making Alexandra Burke win the X-Factor, sing a rendition of "Can Yo Feel The Love Tonight?" that isn't an absolute joke in comparison to Sir Elton - and making a silly little pop song that teaches 13-year-old girls to never give up! What a lady...
"Survivor" is what we were singing tonight. I can translate what I was singing age 13 today. And man, is that one easy message to get behind, right? I didn't even know then that I was one such "survivor". I didn't know what it meant to "survive" because that means there would have to be a threat to overcome, and I hadn't been threatened. Yep, cute! Not so much now. I believe I actually did survive at times, rather than just getting through things. I learned the only way, the "hard" way, that "after all of the darkness and sadness, soon comes happiness", and that "if I surround myself with positive things, I'll gain prosperity". Although it's a good song, only life can teach you just HOW good it is.
I wasn't particularly raised to be a strong woman by my family. I did go to a Catholic all-girls private school where being a girl was obviously not an issue. The premise of the school was "we can do everything a boy can" which, I know now, is incomplete: it's about doing the things men do just as well. The things I am most proud of achieving in my life are things that can compete with whatever a man can achieve, not just women. And for that, I had to be a survivor because that just isn't reality just yet. I don't want to feel good about having achieved something as a woman; I want to just achieve whatever is possible - for everyone.
Beyonce is a great example of that. She isn't just a woman, she's also also a racial minority. Both being black and a woman usually doesn't help achieving (anything!). And of course, her talent makes up for some of that. She's just a fucking great artist. But let's not talk about how great Beyonce is because everyone knows already. What is significant to me is that she has found a way, through pop music, through visuals, through fashion and through empowerment, to shape a young girl that wasn't even aware she could be influenced. At age 30, I am able to see her for her artistic achievement but I need to also acknowledge her for the change she has caused in my life when I was barely able to make my own decisions yet.
