When I first heard I have a shot at a job in Egypt I was shocked. As I said before, out of all dreams I ever had living in Egypt wasn't one of them. I've been, and I've liked it, and the last time I was there and discussed with my sister to come stay for longer I obviously saw potential to not hate it but a defining moment I said "I want to go live in Egypt" has never occured. Needless to say, this sounds crazy! I said no to the USA last year because I didn't want to ride off and never see my family and friends again, and now I'm doing just that, only that I'm going to a country I never wanted to go to and not to the one I've planned to live in for decades. Yet again, I see no reason whatsoever why not to. I suppose it's a leap of faith.
I have always asked myself what that leap of faith is. They talk about it on the Bachelor a lot, and facebook features a lot of motivational pictures that center around this principle I have never really understood. So taking a leap of faith is just doing something you're not sure about and not thinking about the consequences. If that's what it is I have never taken a leap of faith. I have always made sure that everything I do is a great idea and that it can't come back to haunt me. Unsurprisingly, my life has not born a lot of fruits just yet. On the other hand, I have never fallen flat, at least not by my doing. Well, it looks like that way of living has offically come to an end...
Going to Egypt is not dangerous or scary but it is definitely new water. I couldn't possibly predict what's going to happen, even if I tried. The principal themes are set: I can do the job, I will like the job, I won't be shocked by the culture and I know what I'm getting myself into. But the whole thing could end up as an epic failure or the best idea of my life. I genuinely think it will turn out to be the latter but I can't say for sure at all. That's never happened. I have to start something 100% new without having any confirmation of security. However, it just doesn't feel like it's a bad idea. My feelings have been wrong so many times but I seem to be incapable of thinking that this leap of faith is the last thing I have up my sleeve.
I could not be more dissatisfied with life right now. I am a generally happy person, I tend to be positive where I can and I have enjoyed life to the best of my ability so far. Yet, Germany crushes me. I hate it's home, because I love home. But I don't love Germany. In fact, I hate it. I don't understand how people are happy to live here. I don't know what I will say about Egypt once I've lived there but the leap of faith is definitely not leaving home. If that was a leap of faith I would be a pro at it by now. The leap of faith is moving somewhere you never thought you would, and since you never gave it a thought you expect nothing. For me having no expectations is the best recipe for success and I truly hope I'm right. Only time will tell, so I am certain this won't be my last post on the matter...
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