Momma's back in the Fatherland and all of her friends are hooked up. Now, I'm 27 years old, so engagements and weddings shouldn't be surprising anymore. My not so many attempts at love obviously suffered from my ambition and the corresponding inability for men to date chicks with ambition. My friends, however, seem to all be comfortable in their relationships, sponsored by the popular "dating" app Tinder. I move a lot, so one could think Tinder was made for me, only that there is a huge reluctance within me to use Tinder. My constant moving pretty much killed all of my romantic potential in the past, would be time to capitalize on that fact, right? I just can't do it with the help of Tinder...
I haven't even been single for very long. Well, I feel like I have been single for about a year, but it's really only been a couple of weeks. Needless to say, after quite some time of being "alone", or at least feeling like I am, a little romance would be welcomed. The fastest way to make that happen would be the internet. I wouldn't even need me to leave my house. Since I'm not looking for the love of my life either before I know which country I'm gonna reside in next the superficiality of Tinder could be a welcomed asset. Now here is the catch: I'm simply not superficial. I'm many things: dramatic, annoying, opinionated and pessimistic at times, but I am definitely not superficial. I thoroughly reject claims that I make judgements on people based on their appearance, that hasn't happened pretty much since I befriended a guy that looks homeless. Today, he's my best friend...
If you look at the people that meant most to me in my life you will find some of them not attractive, including my exes. The first time I met the guy I was seeing earlier this year, he was wearing a bright orange jacket and looked like a Beatle, just in Mexican. My most recent boyfriend, although probably assessed as quite good-looking, didn't even catch my eye the first three times we attended events together. It took me three days of constant, and I mean constant, hanging out to realize he was a cute guy, which then turned into me believing he was eye candy. In both cases, I would probably have swiped left if I just saw a picture of them because, I like to believe, I liked their wit, or the way they treated me, or something you can't put your finger on, not their weird haircuts. Tinder would have missed that!
Choosing people to hang out with, never mind sleep with, by pictures they even got to choose themselves, does not work for me. Like, it totally couldn't. If I think about my own representation on social media I can't begin to explain how inaccurate it is. Granted, on Tinder nobody seeks to marry me, but people who think it's a cool idea to date me based on the easy-going, open-minded person on Facebook who fights for refugee rights and justice a lot should be warned, because based on that dating me sounds a lot more fun than it probably is. There's lots of good pictures of me but in reality I almost exclusively look really crappy and I don't actually enjoy doing very much but, well, writing this blog or drink wine (while writing). Tinder just doesn't sell the truth, and that would be a problem for me.
Even for a one-night-stand, I like to believe I have a standard of not wanting to sleep with a complete idiot, which is probably why I don't have one-night-stands just now. That doesn't mean everyone's an idiot, it just takes a while to find out if they are, therefore making Tinder not an accessible tool to make sure. I hear a lot of stories of successful hook ups from Tinder, and unfortunately the men my friends slept with sound like clowns almost exclusively. Meeh, I'll pass. I don't want romance enough to forego the quality of a romance. I like running into a stranger, and thinking within a few minutes that this person could be special. I like being interested in what they say about their passions. I like them making good jokes, or bad ones. And if they aren't attractive to me, they could end up being a good friend. I like that! Tinder doesn't have that...
I haven't even been single for very long. Well, I feel like I have been single for about a year, but it's really only been a couple of weeks. Needless to say, after quite some time of being "alone", or at least feeling like I am, a little romance would be welcomed. The fastest way to make that happen would be the internet. I wouldn't even need me to leave my house. Since I'm not looking for the love of my life either before I know which country I'm gonna reside in next the superficiality of Tinder could be a welcomed asset. Now here is the catch: I'm simply not superficial. I'm many things: dramatic, annoying, opinionated and pessimistic at times, but I am definitely not superficial. I thoroughly reject claims that I make judgements on people based on their appearance, that hasn't happened pretty much since I befriended a guy that looks homeless. Today, he's my best friend...
If you look at the people that meant most to me in my life you will find some of them not attractive, including my exes. The first time I met the guy I was seeing earlier this year, he was wearing a bright orange jacket and looked like a Beatle, just in Mexican. My most recent boyfriend, although probably assessed as quite good-looking, didn't even catch my eye the first three times we attended events together. It took me three days of constant, and I mean constant, hanging out to realize he was a cute guy, which then turned into me believing he was eye candy. In both cases, I would probably have swiped left if I just saw a picture of them because, I like to believe, I liked their wit, or the way they treated me, or something you can't put your finger on, not their weird haircuts. Tinder would have missed that!
Choosing people to hang out with, never mind sleep with, by pictures they even got to choose themselves, does not work for me. Like, it totally couldn't. If I think about my own representation on social media I can't begin to explain how inaccurate it is. Granted, on Tinder nobody seeks to marry me, but people who think it's a cool idea to date me based on the easy-going, open-minded person on Facebook who fights for refugee rights and justice a lot should be warned, because based on that dating me sounds a lot more fun than it probably is. There's lots of good pictures of me but in reality I almost exclusively look really crappy and I don't actually enjoy doing very much but, well, writing this blog or drink wine (while writing). Tinder just doesn't sell the truth, and that would be a problem for me.
Even for a one-night-stand, I like to believe I have a standard of not wanting to sleep with a complete idiot, which is probably why I don't have one-night-stands just now. That doesn't mean everyone's an idiot, it just takes a while to find out if they are, therefore making Tinder not an accessible tool to make sure. I hear a lot of stories of successful hook ups from Tinder, and unfortunately the men my friends slept with sound like clowns almost exclusively. Meeh, I'll pass. I don't want romance enough to forego the quality of a romance. I like running into a stranger, and thinking within a few minutes that this person could be special. I like being interested in what they say about their passions. I like them making good jokes, or bad ones. And if they aren't attractive to me, they could end up being a good friend. I like that! Tinder doesn't have that...
No comments:
Post a Comment