“Where words fail, music speaks.”
―
I know, I know, I'm a writer and not a musician. I can't write music and my sophomoric writing on a blog or a journal does not equal the raw emotion that is coming from a song. I am not that artist. I am a talker, an expressionist, a storyteller. But I seldom make art. Yet, it is art that speaks to me most these days. The majority of the things that have affected my life in the last year, I am not free to talk about. And I struggle with that. So hearing songs that speak to me is like a horoscope: it gives you the feeling of there being someone on this huge planet that would, maybe, understand. You might hear a different thing than me right now but these songs are playing in my mind while I am abiding by the bar of metal in front of my mouth. It makes my relatively challenging emotions these days easier to bear and I am confident that is why these artists chose to make this music.
After the Storm - Mumford & Sons
This song has accompanied me through a lot of bad times. Right now is such a time. Not in a conventional way because everything that's happening is exciting and positive. But the year played host to some pretty traumatic experiences. Its fine, it happens, and I know there will be a time where I wear "flowers in my hair" to look back to it but, right now, I am scared of what's coming because of what happened. This song finds the perfect combination of words and tunes to teach the only life lesson worth learning in bad times: nothing is infinite! Not this, not the love that cannot be replaced, not happiness and, fortunately, not despair.
A Change Is Gonna Come - Sam Cooke
Oh, Sam Cooke. Even his songs about being a black man in the 60s strike a chord with me, even though I can obviously not relate. But I can to this one. I was on a lovely date about a month ago and the guy played this for me. WINNER! It's a reassuring feeling that there is music that expresses what I want to say but never would. I am not one to complain about how much running I had to do in my life. I am aware of my miseries and challenges so far but I like to look forward. With this song, I can. Because it doesn't matter how much I've run, change is and always has come. The essence of this song is preventing my freak out these days. Of course, I speak about my current challenges a lot, acknowledge this isn't the easiest time of my life but the prevalent feeling is that of hope. For change. And mine is only eight days away.
Wisely & Slow - The Staves
What I currently feel will last for a long time. It's easy to assume my feelings will last since nothing has changed about how I feel about the person I think of in this song in the last year or so, except my life. I already know that the day I stop mourning that loss will never come. I accept it and don't regret what I have done for this person. But "the song" and the question at the end of this one will never change: why is it you whispered when you needed to yell? I am thinking of a person that I know is not themselves and watching that has been hard. At the same time, I have also pretended and refrained from yelling when I probably should have. But the person on my mind needs to yell and stop whispering, express what is really going on. I guess I just want to know why they don't. Sucks to know I'll never know.
New Slang - The Shins
Another one of my all-time favorite songs has given me a new meaning these past few months. In relation to Cambridge, where I live, I have come to see how it is the manifestation of all of my feelings: super pretty and appearing to be a paradise but a trap, a curse, and my personal hell. I love this place but it has destroyed many things in me, first and foremost my self-esteem. Places can become tainted by what happened there and while it introduced me to the best friends I ever had it also truly turned me away from lots of good things inside of me. I need to leave it and look forward to severing the ties I have to this place in hopes it will sever the power the events still have over me.
Chicago - Sufjan Stevens
So, Sufjan Stevens has said this song is about running away. Sooo, does it work? I am living proof it does. Yo, Sufjan and I should have a beer sometime. I changed cities so many times, went on some crazy adventure like him, and usually fell in love immediately. All of my places have one man associated to them and it is fortunate that my move is coming up at a time when I am continuing to let Cambridge love pass. I made a lot of mistakes here. There are situations I can't move on from continuously walking past the venues of them happening. Maybe it's not the most efficient way to get over someone or something. Then again, I don't think I would have ever been able to move on from my Cairo love if I hadn't left Cairo. Moving on from people and cities have been the same experience for me. And I hope it works again next week.
―
I know, I know, I'm a writer and not a musician. I can't write music and my sophomoric writing on a blog or a journal does not equal the raw emotion that is coming from a song. I am not that artist. I am a talker, an expressionist, a storyteller. But I seldom make art. Yet, it is art that speaks to me most these days. The majority of the things that have affected my life in the last year, I am not free to talk about. And I struggle with that. So hearing songs that speak to me is like a horoscope: it gives you the feeling of there being someone on this huge planet that would, maybe, understand. You might hear a different thing than me right now but these songs are playing in my mind while I am abiding by the bar of metal in front of my mouth. It makes my relatively challenging emotions these days easier to bear and I am confident that is why these artists chose to make this music.
After the Storm - Mumford & Sons
This song has accompanied me through a lot of bad times. Right now is such a time. Not in a conventional way because everything that's happening is exciting and positive. But the year played host to some pretty traumatic experiences. Its fine, it happens, and I know there will be a time where I wear "flowers in my hair" to look back to it but, right now, I am scared of what's coming because of what happened. This song finds the perfect combination of words and tunes to teach the only life lesson worth learning in bad times: nothing is infinite! Not this, not the love that cannot be replaced, not happiness and, fortunately, not despair.
A Change Is Gonna Come - Sam Cooke
Oh, Sam Cooke. Even his songs about being a black man in the 60s strike a chord with me, even though I can obviously not relate. But I can to this one. I was on a lovely date about a month ago and the guy played this for me. WINNER! It's a reassuring feeling that there is music that expresses what I want to say but never would. I am not one to complain about how much running I had to do in my life. I am aware of my miseries and challenges so far but I like to look forward. With this song, I can. Because it doesn't matter how much I've run, change is and always has come. The essence of this song is preventing my freak out these days. Of course, I speak about my current challenges a lot, acknowledge this isn't the easiest time of my life but the prevalent feeling is that of hope. For change. And mine is only eight days away.
Wisely & Slow - The Staves
What I currently feel will last for a long time. It's easy to assume my feelings will last since nothing has changed about how I feel about the person I think of in this song in the last year or so, except my life. I already know that the day I stop mourning that loss will never come. I accept it and don't regret what I have done for this person. But "the song" and the question at the end of this one will never change: why is it you whispered when you needed to yell? I am thinking of a person that I know is not themselves and watching that has been hard. At the same time, I have also pretended and refrained from yelling when I probably should have. But the person on my mind needs to yell and stop whispering, express what is really going on. I guess I just want to know why they don't. Sucks to know I'll never know.
New Slang - The Shins
Another one of my all-time favorite songs has given me a new meaning these past few months. In relation to Cambridge, where I live, I have come to see how it is the manifestation of all of my feelings: super pretty and appearing to be a paradise but a trap, a curse, and my personal hell. I love this place but it has destroyed many things in me, first and foremost my self-esteem. Places can become tainted by what happened there and while it introduced me to the best friends I ever had it also truly turned me away from lots of good things inside of me. I need to leave it and look forward to severing the ties I have to this place in hopes it will sever the power the events still have over me.
Better - Regina Spektor
When dealing with "whatever", it is important to be true to oneself. I am trying to make myself do that by meditation and, of course, writing. But there are people around me that are not in touch with what they feel. In some cases I get it: they're, like me, scared to feel what they're feeling because it comes with consequences. I can relate to Regina Spektor when she wonders if any action I take can actually make someone feel better. Not if they're not ready to really face feelings, right? At least that's what I believe. I understand why it's easier to run away from feelings but this song at least makes me realize there's nothing I can do to wake people up. I can only stop running myself and I guess I'm not ready to do that either.
Chicago - Sufjan Stevens
So, Sufjan Stevens has said this song is about running away. Sooo, does it work? I am living proof it does. Yo, Sufjan and I should have a beer sometime. I changed cities so many times, went on some crazy adventure like him, and usually fell in love immediately. All of my places have one man associated to them and it is fortunate that my move is coming up at a time when I am continuing to let Cambridge love pass. I made a lot of mistakes here. There are situations I can't move on from continuously walking past the venues of them happening. Maybe it's not the most efficient way to get over someone or something. Then again, I don't think I would have ever been able to move on from my Cairo love if I hadn't left Cairo. Moving on from people and cities have been the same experience for me. And I hope it works again next week.
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