For as long as this decade has been going, I wrote my own "year in review". I also usually made one for work, including this year (check out rewind.youtube for a flashback of my career this year), so the decade closing in is one hell of a project for me. Usually the biggest question I have to ask myself is if it was a good or a bad year; this time, I will have to ask myself if I'm happy with the outcome of the decade, when I only have one other decade I consciously lived to compare it to. And then, there is the fact that yes, this is the fourth turn of a decade I have been alive for, and that in itself clouds the perception as, with more time passing by, positivity lasts longer, but life shorter.
Having said that, without a doubt, this decade which pretty much lasted through my entire twenties, probably could not have been better. I was not one of these people who had it very easy in their twenties. Those lucky sons of bitches that had an easy time are disguising themselves well, as I never really hear much from them. There could be two reasons: 1. they keep their secrets to success hum or 2. (the far more likely possibility) being in your twenties simply isn't that easy. I started out the new decade as a first year in uni, obviously without a clue about what life is and what I was going to do with mine. "Be a journalist" or something along the line of "working for the media" was the big idea, shared by around 95% of the people in my graduating class, none of which now do anything remotely connected to what we thought we would be doing today.
The most prominent memory of my decade is the one of crying my eyes out, unable to stop, because I simply did not know I would ever "figure it out". After uni, I was thoroughly lost. Shocker really, I'm sure nobody can relate - not! My dreams of my PhD working out, my only ever real plan at a future, failed. I wasn't behind it enough, I was the wrong choice for the candidacy and had I really tried, I would not have finished. But who knows, right? I could have shot for my plan in high school of becoming a Hollywood star, in which case I would probably be dating Harry Styles by now, obviously. I mean, who really knows? It's not like what I ended up doing today was ever an active pursuit. And how could it have been: the job didn't really exist yet. Neither did the building I work in or the team I am on.
I could go on, again, how Egypt, falling in love, getting a tech job and overcoming the various bad things that happened changed my life, but that's just the way life is: stuff happens, you learn from it, hopefully don't fall apart. Through the cracks, I see a very exciting life; three decades of unexpected, undeserved and underestimated awesomeness. This decade was milked, and everything that was possible to happen, happened. It makes me very optimistic about the future, as this coming decade will hold adventures I can't even picture now. If I want to ever become a mother, this decade will be when that will likely happen. I'll also hopefully live in much fewer countries and will hopefully start owning my first car, if it makes sense. Maybe, just maybe, at 31-year-old, I might actually stop living with roommates. And, let's pray, that whatever will happen, I get to have a dog.
This past year got me closer to it, but mainly, it just showed me that my progress was regress in some departments. After the bad things that happened in my relationships, I am fully aware why I watch my friends get married and am, myself, nowhere close to ready for that. My career which I prioritised in the 2010s has borne the fruits I wanted, but my personal life definitely suffered as a result. This year, I really only worked. I love the job, but I really did not do much else - and I regret that. This job allowed me to speak at events in seven countries, I shared a stage with Nico Rosberg and met HP . Baxxter, so complaining is ridiculous. But while traveling and working 24/7, yeah, you really cannot date or sit down to write a book, two thingsI would have quite liked to do. I progressed professionally, but I allowed it to compensate for the regress I have been making in human relationships.
The last few days I really thought about what I want in the new decade, and I suppose that is the problem: If I knew, I could pursue. But I don't. I didn't actively pursue the best things I have in my life now. I have learned my lesson and I get it: life is hard to predict. But for now a little bit of focus on processing the last decade sounds like a good idea, so I don't carry that stuff around with me. I'm pretty much exactly where I want to be at the turn of the decade, I am merely scared I will be in the same place by the turn of the next one. Progress is essential. For me more than anyone. I want a dog, a house and a new hobby, but I need more quiet, a creative breathing space and the courage to reflect. It seems easy enough to see through. So I suppose what I'm saying is... bring it on, roaring 20s. Looks like I'm ready for you!
Having said that, without a doubt, this decade which pretty much lasted through my entire twenties, probably could not have been better. I was not one of these people who had it very easy in their twenties. Those lucky sons of bitches that had an easy time are disguising themselves well, as I never really hear much from them. There could be two reasons: 1. they keep their secrets to success hum or 2. (the far more likely possibility) being in your twenties simply isn't that easy. I started out the new decade as a first year in uni, obviously without a clue about what life is and what I was going to do with mine. "Be a journalist" or something along the line of "working for the media" was the big idea, shared by around 95% of the people in my graduating class, none of which now do anything remotely connected to what we thought we would be doing today.
The most prominent memory of my decade is the one of crying my eyes out, unable to stop, because I simply did not know I would ever "figure it out". After uni, I was thoroughly lost. Shocker really, I'm sure nobody can relate - not! My dreams of my PhD working out, my only ever real plan at a future, failed. I wasn't behind it enough, I was the wrong choice for the candidacy and had I really tried, I would not have finished. But who knows, right? I could have shot for my plan in high school of becoming a Hollywood star, in which case I would probably be dating Harry Styles by now, obviously. I mean, who really knows? It's not like what I ended up doing today was ever an active pursuit. And how could it have been: the job didn't really exist yet. Neither did the building I work in or the team I am on.
I could go on, again, how Egypt, falling in love, getting a tech job and overcoming the various bad things that happened changed my life, but that's just the way life is: stuff happens, you learn from it, hopefully don't fall apart. Through the cracks, I see a very exciting life; three decades of unexpected, undeserved and underestimated awesomeness. This decade was milked, and everything that was possible to happen, happened. It makes me very optimistic about the future, as this coming decade will hold adventures I can't even picture now. If I want to ever become a mother, this decade will be when that will likely happen. I'll also hopefully live in much fewer countries and will hopefully start owning my first car, if it makes sense. Maybe, just maybe, at 31-year-old, I might actually stop living with roommates. And, let's pray, that whatever will happen, I get to have a dog.
This past year got me closer to it, but mainly, it just showed me that my progress was regress in some departments. After the bad things that happened in my relationships, I am fully aware why I watch my friends get married and am, myself, nowhere close to ready for that. My career which I prioritised in the 2010s has borne the fruits I wanted, but my personal life definitely suffered as a result. This year, I really only worked. I love the job, but I really did not do much else - and I regret that. This job allowed me to speak at events in seven countries, I shared a stage with Nico Rosberg and met HP . Baxxter, so complaining is ridiculous. But while traveling and working 24/7, yeah, you really cannot date or sit down to write a book, two thingsI would have quite liked to do. I progressed professionally, but I allowed it to compensate for the regress I have been making in human relationships.
The last few days I really thought about what I want in the new decade, and I suppose that is the problem: If I knew, I could pursue. But I don't. I didn't actively pursue the best things I have in my life now. I have learned my lesson and I get it: life is hard to predict. But for now a little bit of focus on processing the last decade sounds like a good idea, so I don't carry that stuff around with me. I'm pretty much exactly where I want to be at the turn of the decade, I am merely scared I will be in the same place by the turn of the next one. Progress is essential. For me more than anyone. I want a dog, a house and a new hobby, but I need more quiet, a creative breathing space and the courage to reflect. It seems easy enough to see through. So I suppose what I'm saying is... bring it on, roaring 20s. Looks like I'm ready for you!
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