Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Get that couple off my facebook!!!!

I really enjoy people posting pictures on social media, especially when they're depicting their handsome boy- or girlfriends, showing me what they do on their dates and the flowers they got from them. I'm not even being sarcastic. Paradoxically, since I joined Facebook in 2007 I have dated a fair share of guys myself, and still, to this day, there has never been a sign of my dating history on my Facebook page. The world has never seen a romantic photo of me and my boyfriend on my timeline that wasn't taken by my paparazzi mother. The pressure of having to put up a relationship status only came up once, and I objected successfully. Yesterday, my phone notified me of an uploaded picture of me on a "double date". My initial thought was "Damn!". For some reason I enjoy other people's displays of love but am unable to accept my own. I wonder why that is...

I certainly have no need to be ashamed of the people I saw in the past. There is some serious talent in the selection of men who have been linked to me, I don"t know how I did it but I'm impressed. However, I have resisted to shout out to the world who they were, what they looked like and what we were. I would have some serious grounds for bragging, but I don't seem to find the inspiration to do so. After a few years I have now asked myself why it is I don't want the world, or even my facebook friends, to know who I date. It's definitely not embarrassment. It's also not any shape or form of jealousy. It's merely a variation of avoiding "the evil eye" because I believe it is real.

I'm always concerned about positive auras and having positive outlooks. I want people to look at me and have pleasant feelings because I believe it will affect me. Unfortunately, few people in the world see a picture of a very nice couple and simply say "Wow, what a great pair, I wish them all the happiness in the world!", especially those who do not have that kind of commitment in their own life. Now, if someone poses with their super awesome boyfriend in a photo onlookers turn to the most basic form of human, and they will get jealous a little bit. People then turn to the mentality of convincing themselves that what they see can't be everything there is to see. They persuade themselves to believe that behind the curtain it cannot be as great as in that photo. And that in essence turns into wishing the couple ill. I don't want anyone to think that of me and any significant other.

I want to prevent anyone from getting the chance to wish any evil upon me. In other aspects of my life I don't seem to care as much as I have probably posted stuff here or there which could be perceived as bragging by some people. When it comes to boys though I have no desire to portray myself. Even a kiss in front of friends is quite uncomfortable for me. I don't like PDAs so why would I enjoy our picture on facebook? What happens between me and the person is important to me, and not a single third person should be involved in that connection. I think it's fantastic when people are wondering about me, and if I'm seeing someone, and what he does for a living, and what his eye color is. Since I have no intention of sharing any aspect of any of my relationships on Facebook, pictures of a flower bouquet I received won't make it either. I don't actually want people to be jealous of me to protect myself. And I like to be a mystery. I still haven't figured out which reason is my primary one...

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