Thursday, October 2, 2014

Sina + Music = Meh!

Every girl loves musicians. They love they're creative, passionate and, of course, everyone loves music. I have dated many musicians over the years and unfortunately they're also usually lazy, irresponsible and have at least a little substance problem. I often thought that I'm the only girl in the world that is actively looking not to be with a musician and yet I still end up with them. It feels very much like the pick up line "I'm a drummer!" is wasted on me because nothing would make me run faster. Where other girls swoon, I cringe. Looks like I don't like what most people do. The core problem of this, however, is a much more basic one: I just don't like music.

I came to actually realize I'm not a music lover like everybody else when I was dating a wannabe musician a couple of years back. This guy found solace in music when he wasn't feeling great. He even pretended to have written a song for me and serenaded me. Every girl's dream, right? Wrong! I neither liked his taste in music nor the fact he focused on his guitar instead of finding a job which he obviously didn't have. What a cliché. After we broke up he pursued music. At the same time I was pursuing a PhD, you can see where interests differ. I realized I like to listen to the odd Coldplay song here or there but I just don't care enough about music to understand why my boyfriend would prefer to play the same song over and over again instead of doing something useful with his intellectual property that he could easily have used to save the world because he wasn't stupid at all. I suppose he had passion for music, I don't!

I listen to music only when I need to cry ("Forever Young" or any Birdy song) or if I have to clean or work out. But even then my playlist is rather limited. The music featured in the charts is hard to love, too. I enjoy listening to old songs because they remind me of better days while also boosting a much higher musical quality than any Katy Perry song out there. Consequently, I have listened to the same selection of about 100 songs for over five years now with occasional additions if a song continues to sound good after I listened to it over ten times. I got to admit, even "Roar" sounded alright for the first 30 seconds. After that it made me want to stab myself.

The Katy Perry Effect is what's worst: nothing sounds good for long, if at all. While I enjoy listening to my Top 100 it does not increase my love for music in general. 99% of what’s out there sounds crap to me. Fact is that behind every song there is a supposed artist who has to sing that song hundreds of times a year. I therefore found the people trying out for the X Factor because “they love music” largely hypocritical. Writing a song takes between two minutes and two months and if it’s successful the artist has to perform it for a lifetime. Even “Wuthering Heights”- which is a great song- must have become Kate Bush’s worst nightmare somewhere along the decades. I pity Nicki Minaj for having to listen to her horrendous songs multiple times a day. Is that what she had in mind becoming an “artist”?

Yesterday I went to a spiritual singing and chanting festival in which worshippers from all over the Middle East performed their music. While using only minimal instruments and chanting like the widely known prayer calls I felt the urge for my own head to explode. My displeasure could be one of two things: either Middle Eastern music is horrific and everybody who listens or worships to it is crazy or I just don’t like music. I lean towards the latter despite my general disbelief that anyone could enjoy these noises. Hearing a drum of any kind, even if not accompanied by obnoxious shouting, makes me want to move, maybe dance, but it doesn't evoke any feelings inside of me. Even Western worship music largely fails to amaze me. I enjoy singing which is why I love worship or would love to be a popstar. How singing the same song over and over again, even if doing so for God, is fun is beyond me though.

So I tried to explain my lack in listening to music as just having a specific taste but to be honest nothing tickles my fancy really. I just have to give in to the fact that in my stuck up, intellectual brain there is little love for this form of expression. Of course the right song evokes feelings inside of me but I would never consider breaking into sound to express myself. Therefore 
I have a hard time accepting music as a form of art. Because I love art. I just don't love music. I like dancing, I like singing, I like instruments, and I even like melodies. At the same time, my radio is always off. I suppose it just doesn't rock my boat. Maybe it will one day when writing isn't creative enough for me anymore.

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