This stuff is never getting old and I won't get a single read on this blog because everyone's heard it a thousand times. Heck, everyone who's been to Germany probably found out empirically. However, I find the World Cup aka the time where I'm more proud to be German than ever the right time to put into perspective that I probably made the wrong choice returning to my home country. I don't mean to rant all the time because I'm not a person who enjoys complaining, unlike everybody else in Germany but living in Germany has everything you need, but nothing you want. I came home because my job chances are best here and that's my number one priority right now. Meanwhile, I have been thinking my whole life that finding happiness here will be tough. And I think I might have been right...
While living in the UK and US I always described myself as an average person: I liked what most people did, I acted the same way most people did and I would say I related to people. In Germany, I'm descriebed as "crazy" all the freaking time. If I am indeed crazy that does not make Germany look very well because I'm really boring. Needless to say, the rest of the people here are walking sleeping pills. I don't like what they do, I don't act the same way they do and I cannot relate to them at all. What's to like about sleeping, complaining, talking about shopping or getting stupidly drunk, then going to sleep? I hate sleep, I hate complaining, I hate talking about shopping (and shopping) and when I'm tipsy I want to enjoy myself not regarding what other people think about that. Consequently, I can't relate to most people around here...
The perfect woman in Germany is a chick called Lena Gercke who once won a TV show. That chick is so boring I cannot believe people would fancy her. But no, every girl wants to be like her: boring, normal and pretty. Oh my lord, I wouldn't wanna be that chick if they paid me for it! For the guys it's even worse as there are beauty requirements for the lads that involve looking like a girl. A certain arrogance comes with every guy that is remotely good-looking. The word "interesting" is not part of anyone's dictionary, never mind a quality people are looking for in each other. Friends are picked based on how good they look in a selfie next to you. Now this probably applies to many coutries, not just Germany, however, in Germany I have failed to see exceptions so far.
This leads me to identify what my one and only problem with Germany is that makes living here so undesirable to me: it's boring! Based on the fact that I always refer to myself as a rather boring person that says a lot. My requirements for excitement are really freaking low, anyone would confirm! I'm not boring in Germany! I enjoy people whether I know them or not, I like to dance or laugh even if I'm not on a dance floor or at a movie theater and the phrase "sorry I can't come meet you for a cup of coffee, I'm so tired!" has never left my mouth! Since when is lunch even an act? All you gotta do for it is sit. I don't expect anyone to go to a rave with me yet I sit in this house day in and day out because 80% of my dates cancel on me. What is it that makes people tired? Can't be having too much fun. Spontaneity does not exist... at least I never experieced it here myself!
It's also funny to me seeing people thinking they "have a good time". What people consider having a blast in this country is pathetic. I thank God I experienced what that really meant when I was a student. Fair enough, those times are over and nobody really wants to get plastered anymore but an occasional cup of coffee shouldn't be the sensation it is now if it actually happens. I cannot remember having a good conversation in Germany in the past 12 months. Before I left I probably wasn't as aware of it but now that I was away for so long and realized there are actually many awesome people out there I would never have met if I had applied my German standards on them it's sad to see everyone in Germany failing to see that. My best friend was a homeless-looking maniac who got dirty looks from people at every corner when he came to Germany, for crying out loud. In Scotland he's a freaking legend! Germans missed out...
I can't accuse anyone in Germany of being rude, or mean, or anything negative. In fact, I don't believe that their attitudes are bad at all. The only thing that sucks is that they don't coincide with mine. I don't consider myself the better person. I'm probably worse actually. However, I would really love to be surrounded by people again who share my belief in life. I think I've been away for too long and especially during the most sculpting period of one's life to ever acclimatize to the German way of life again. I strive to be interesting and like to make the acquaintance of strange people. And when I say strange I mean both crazy and unknown. Since this is a very un-German attitude I guess I'll have to conclude that I still don't belong here. Maybe one day...
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