Friday, June 20, 2014

Goodbye to yesterday aka your graduation is my forced maturity

Today the last bunch of people I knew in Dundee graduated. One time in my life I met these guys and thought "Geez, they're so young!" and as of today they're at the exact same stage as me. Granted, I have a bomb Masters' degree and am probably ahead a little bit on realizing that life post-graduation is even harder than people think. However, they're all just as unemployed as I am. Heck, some of them even have a job already... So one day I was two years ahead of these kids academically, three to four years older than them and just as carefree on top. Today, with their departure, my goodbye to the stage of "young adult" ends because I now officially know no students anymore. With that comes the sad fact that I will never return to the city that was my favorite home in my entire life, Dundee, because I know nobody there. Because I woke up today homesick, nostalgic and as usual way too emotional I want to dwell in memories...

mmmmhhh strawberry tarts
So this week my own graduation from UoD celebrated its 2nd anniversary. What sucks most about getting older is that days are no longer relevant, weeks aren't either and months and even years pass by like nothing happened in the meantime. June 17, 2012 was the best day of my life so far and I remember every detail like it was yesterday. I remember feeling utterly overjoyed being able to share this day with almost everyone that I love. June 2012 wasn't an all together beautiful time in my life because I had just broken up with my boyfriend a few months prior who was going a bit insane which used to be a huge bummer. And only days after Germany was kicked out of the Euro by Italy which made said boyfriend's issues look ridiculous in comparison to my sadness. However, Graduation Day could not have been any better with the exception of the attendence of my late father or some other friends who didn't happen to be in my class.

Never once did I regret my decision to go to Dundee unlike the countless times I did and still do regret Glasgow. Needless to say, the culmination of the best decision of one's life in the graduation from that program, coupled with amazing sunshine and a free strawberry tart here and there makes one very happy. Glasgow failed to do all of that, including, of course, the sunshine. But obviously none of the people in Glasgow come close to comparing the insane friendships I had in Dundee, and that's not even insulting. Because although it's been two years I still count a bunch of them as the best friends I'll ever have, and I never thought I would ever get that lucky. Dundee was a gift of heaven to me, and a curse as well because I have failed to recreate the happiness of June 17, 2012 until now.

 I think it might be very well impossible to get as happy again. When will I ever get to spend all of my time only with things I love? I loved Politics, I loved History, I loved the people surrounding me and I loved good company. In Dundee I got all of that. Everything I hated, like super annoying Volleyball chicks talking bull or guys trying to cheat on their girlfriends (No thanks!), were ridiculously easy to cut out. For the rest of our lives we are going to have to get used to the fact that we now have to do a whole bunch of things we might not want to. In the past few weeks I have done almost nothing I genuinely loved (which is increasingly the case being unemployed and all, but whatever!). The fun times with drinking, little thinking about tomorrow or the end of the week and relationships that are going nowhere (because they are going nowhere while you're at uni, it's a fact!) are over. But such is life, and while that's not good it's just the way it is. The earlier we accept, the easier it gets.

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