I am sat in a gorgeous office, surrounded by palm trees, and get paid a pretty decent wage for my job as well. At the same time, I have free time so that I can do my writing, charity and networking without having to expect stress or poverty. It is fair to say, I live a very good life, I got very lucky and I am happy. However, last week I turned 27 and, just like every year, now the question of "What is this year going to lead to?" has to sooner or later be answered. The closer it gets to the "freeze an egg"-years, the more I feel like this lifestyle of not planning what I am going to do next to give all opportunities a chance is getting outdated. And so my birthday and subsequent Sinai holiday forced me to realize that with every year that goes by a plan is more urgently needed.
Just because there is nothing wrong with my life does not mean that it should stay like this forever. For this year, I have bigger ambitions than ever. I have wind in my sails to make this year the beginning of the rest of my life in a quite non-cheesy, literal way. This year, I finally hope to find a place of residence and the profession I always wanted. I no longer want to be a vagabond; I am actually yearning for a place to call home, or for the sake of modesty I would already be happy with a definite country. I have been to 30 countries, and so I found around 25 countries I cannot see myself living in. Unfortunately, the rules of elimination have not ended in me coming to terms with the solution. Yes, the present is great and I wouldn't change anything about it, but the future will soon start and I'm ready for the answers...
It is completely obvious to me that my 28th birthday will not be another escape from deserted Cairo on January 25 but a celebration of finally having found a way to escape that desert for good. I don't dislike anything about my life in Cairo and I feel very happy with my achievements. The truth is, however, that there is little to achieve left. Of course I'm not famous yet and have many other things that I could work for which mean something to me, but the achievement I truly seek in life is close to exhausted here. I have to ask myself what I want in five years to make a plan about how I can use this year to get there, and not just voice the dream of becoming a world-class journalist in my circles. Just staying in Cairo, working my various jobs, will not make that happen.
So the cards are dealt and it looks very much like winning my game will require a "Bon Voyage!" soon. That is not a scary thought at all since I have been ready to leave Cairo for quite some time. It is the arriving somewhere else that makes my back hair stand up. The toughest question, of course, is "Where will I arrive?". The answer has to consider multiple factors! There are not just the choices of jobs and countries I have to consider but the choices of people and progression. I don't want another step in coming close to the path I should go, I want to get on that track. The aim is to get closer to the ultimate goal, and these stalling techniques that people tend to do when they're comfortable are not going to work out for me...
What's incredible to me is that I know where this movement I'm craving is supposed to take me. I know where I will want the road to go, and I don't think of the aim necessarily as a country, town or place. I know that the progress I want is not connected to just one physical location. What holds people back from achieving the things I want to achieve in the future is fear, and I have a considerable amount of it. I am scared of trying and failing which is so much worse than resigning before it could come to disappointment. And of course I am afraid of rejection because all things I currently want are not just for me to decided to be mine. I have this plan that I need for progress but, much like all good things in life, that plan is not a unilateral decision to be made. Therefore, what I want for my following year of life is the courage, and nothing but the courage, to pursue what I want and think I deserve. It's not just for me to decide if I get it or not...
Just because there is nothing wrong with my life does not mean that it should stay like this forever. For this year, I have bigger ambitions than ever. I have wind in my sails to make this year the beginning of the rest of my life in a quite non-cheesy, literal way. This year, I finally hope to find a place of residence and the profession I always wanted. I no longer want to be a vagabond; I am actually yearning for a place to call home, or for the sake of modesty I would already be happy with a definite country. I have been to 30 countries, and so I found around 25 countries I cannot see myself living in. Unfortunately, the rules of elimination have not ended in me coming to terms with the solution. Yes, the present is great and I wouldn't change anything about it, but the future will soon start and I'm ready for the answers...
It is completely obvious to me that my 28th birthday will not be another escape from deserted Cairo on January 25 but a celebration of finally having found a way to escape that desert for good. I don't dislike anything about my life in Cairo and I feel very happy with my achievements. The truth is, however, that there is little to achieve left. Of course I'm not famous yet and have many other things that I could work for which mean something to me, but the achievement I truly seek in life is close to exhausted here. I have to ask myself what I want in five years to make a plan about how I can use this year to get there, and not just voice the dream of becoming a world-class journalist in my circles. Just staying in Cairo, working my various jobs, will not make that happen.
So the cards are dealt and it looks very much like winning my game will require a "Bon Voyage!" soon. That is not a scary thought at all since I have been ready to leave Cairo for quite some time. It is the arriving somewhere else that makes my back hair stand up. The toughest question, of course, is "Where will I arrive?". The answer has to consider multiple factors! There are not just the choices of jobs and countries I have to consider but the choices of people and progression. I don't want another step in coming close to the path I should go, I want to get on that track. The aim is to get closer to the ultimate goal, and these stalling techniques that people tend to do when they're comfortable are not going to work out for me...
What's incredible to me is that I know where this movement I'm craving is supposed to take me. I know where I will want the road to go, and I don't think of the aim necessarily as a country, town or place. I know that the progress I want is not connected to just one physical location. What holds people back from achieving the things I want to achieve in the future is fear, and I have a considerable amount of it. I am scared of trying and failing which is so much worse than resigning before it could come to disappointment. And of course I am afraid of rejection because all things I currently want are not just for me to decided to be mine. I have this plan that I need for progress but, much like all good things in life, that plan is not a unilateral decision to be made. Therefore, what I want for my following year of life is the courage, and nothing but the courage, to pursue what I want and think I deserve. It's not just for me to decide if I get it or not...
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