When I was 15 years old, I wanted to become a Hollywood Star. Since I was 11 I got up for the Oscars in the middle of the night in Germany and went to school right after it. My first big disappointment was Haley Joel Osment missing out to Kevin Spacey one year, and even then I was 11 and didn't speak English, so I was watching a show I didn't understand for four hours just because I wanted to be a famous actress and director one day and marry a grown up Osment. Since then, I have lost my love for him, that particular profession and even movies. These days, I'll be lucky to have seen a single movie that is nominated, and when I try I fall asleep. One may say I know nothing about Hollywood and what deserves our respect in the film business anymore. But one thing I do know: Leo DiCaprio needs an Oscar!
Every year Leonardo DiCaprio is nominated for the Oscar he happens to be one of the favorites to win, and then he loses to names such as Forrest Whittaker and Matthew McConaughey, the same guy famous for his performances in Wedding Planner and How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days. It's a disgrace! You know you suck as an actor if J.Lo outperforms you. With all these horrendously ridiculous names beating Leo to an Oscar, it's time to analyze the jokes that have a little trophy in their bedroom where Leo still keeps his sixty Golden Globe Awards.
When Titanic came out, I was one of the few girls who weren't in love with Leonardo DiCaprio. By the time Leo was catapulted into superstardom, I thought his best performance was already behind him. That's right, What's Eating Gilbert Grape? was, in my eyes, the most amazing DiCaprio movie, and I only found out a few years later that the actor who played a Gilbert's mentally disabled brother was in fact not mentally disabled. Talk about a convincing performance! Of course, back then I was 10 and had no idea who Johnny Depp or Leonardo DiCaprio were. Now, I have never really seen a Tommy Lee Jones movie other than Double Jeopardy so I can't judge if young Leo lost out to a great. In other years that's much easier to assess...
2005 Leo lost out to Jamie Foxx, a guy playing a blind guy. Nobody doubts that was incredible, but it's like the only good thing Jamie Foxx ever did, except collaborating with Kanye on the song Gold Digger. Leonardo DiCaprio, back then, had only been nominated for an Oscar twice and everyone knew there'd be a third time so they opted for the Ray Charles impersonation. Playing Ray Charles looks like one of the easiest things ever (and I would know, because Ray used to be on The Nanny), I wasn't that excited about it. The same year Johnny Depp also lost out again, so one year they have this pool of amazing actors that have been waiting for way too long, and one year they have Hilary Swank walking away with Oscar Number Two. The world is a cruel place...
Then we arrive at my favorite year: 2007 Leo lost to Forrest Whittaker. If you do not recognize this name I am not surprised. Another person that had to win that year because the academy knew there would never, ever be another year this guy would have a shot at it. And, what a surprise, Forrest Whittaker is, well, nowhere. The only thing that differentiates him from Leonardo DiCaprio is that he has an Oscar and no success as opposed to the other way around. This goes to show that in comparison with Leo DiCaprio even good actors are lame, even if they have an Oscar and he doesn't. The next example, however, is the true dagger in a heart...
Two years ago the Academy had two chances to give Leo his Oscar, and I'm glad they didn't so that he can take center stage this year... finally! Instead, a very big name walked away with the award: Matthew McConaughey, a man so talented he's known for RomComs, car advertisements and having a name nobody knows how to spell. I knew he was a great one when I first saw him in Fool's Gold, a movie so good everyone loved it. If you as a reader can't pick up on my overwhelming sarcasm in making these statements, you are the fool. The day I saw Matthew Mc-whatever go home with an Oscar and Leo was still sitting there like a younger, better-looking Peter O'Toole, I chose to give up!
It is quite evident that the entire Academy always knew this day would come, and now it's finally upon us: Leo will win the Oscar! I feel bad for otherwise pretty awesome actors who are, for the first time, completely without chance of winning; appears that back in the day having Leo nominated was almost a clear ticket to the Academy Award! These days are over! I can't wait for Leo to walk up from front row and receive his standing ovation. And I, for one, am happy it took until now because he's just so much more of an awesome (and hotter) version of himself today and Giselle Bundchen won't be there
! And now that that's done, we got to focus on getting Joaquin Phoenix an Oscar, and then we might as well stop caring about it all together...
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| Yeah, yeah, I know... |
When Titanic came out, I was one of the few girls who weren't in love with Leonardo DiCaprio. By the time Leo was catapulted into superstardom, I thought his best performance was already behind him. That's right, What's Eating Gilbert Grape? was, in my eyes, the most amazing DiCaprio movie, and I only found out a few years later that the actor who played a Gilbert's mentally disabled brother was in fact not mentally disabled. Talk about a convincing performance! Of course, back then I was 10 and had no idea who Johnny Depp or Leonardo DiCaprio were. Now, I have never really seen a Tommy Lee Jones movie other than Double Jeopardy so I can't judge if young Leo lost out to a great. In other years that's much easier to assess...
2005 Leo lost out to Jamie Foxx, a guy playing a blind guy. Nobody doubts that was incredible, but it's like the only good thing Jamie Foxx ever did, except collaborating with Kanye on the song Gold Digger. Leonardo DiCaprio, back then, had only been nominated for an Oscar twice and everyone knew there'd be a third time so they opted for the Ray Charles impersonation. Playing Ray Charles looks like one of the easiest things ever (and I would know, because Ray used to be on The Nanny), I wasn't that excited about it. The same year Johnny Depp also lost out again, so one year they have this pool of amazing actors that have been waiting for way too long, and one year they have Hilary Swank walking away with Oscar Number Two. The world is a cruel place...
Then we arrive at my favorite year: 2007 Leo lost to Forrest Whittaker. If you do not recognize this name I am not surprised. Another person that had to win that year because the academy knew there would never, ever be another year this guy would have a shot at it. And, what a surprise, Forrest Whittaker is, well, nowhere. The only thing that differentiates him from Leonardo DiCaprio is that he has an Oscar and no success as opposed to the other way around. This goes to show that in comparison with Leo DiCaprio even good actors are lame, even if they have an Oscar and he doesn't. The next example, however, is the true dagger in a heart...
Two years ago the Academy had two chances to give Leo his Oscar, and I'm glad they didn't so that he can take center stage this year... finally! Instead, a very big name walked away with the award: Matthew McConaughey, a man so talented he's known for RomComs, car advertisements and having a name nobody knows how to spell. I knew he was a great one when I first saw him in Fool's Gold, a movie so good everyone loved it. If you as a reader can't pick up on my overwhelming sarcasm in making these statements, you are the fool. The day I saw Matthew Mc-whatever go home with an Oscar and Leo was still sitting there like a younger, better-looking Peter O'Toole, I chose to give up!
It is quite evident that the entire Academy always knew this day would come, and now it's finally upon us: Leo will win the Oscar! I feel bad for otherwise pretty awesome actors who are, for the first time, completely without chance of winning; appears that back in the day having Leo nominated was almost a clear ticket to the Academy Award! These days are over! I can't wait for Leo to walk up from front row and receive his standing ovation. And I, for one, am happy it took until now because he's just so much more of an awesome (and hotter) version of himself today and Giselle Bundchen won't be there
! And now that that's done, we got to focus on getting Joaquin Phoenix an Oscar, and then we might as well stop caring about it all together...
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