Wednesday, January 20, 2016

Why I Could Never Be On The Bachelor

Couldn't love him more if I tried... 
Wheey, another post about my favorite show: The Bachelor! Sina, the closet romantic who would never openly admit to having feelings at all, has a dark secret and she's not even embarrassed about it: she has a crush on Ben Higgins! That's right, this year's Bachelor actually almost had me applying for the show because TV had convinced me I'm looking at my future husband. I don't even judge that crazy girl Olivia for being obsessed with him; if I ever laid eyes on him I would probably also succumb to insane day dreams of watching him make me dinner every day for the rest of my life, naked, as well. And although I believe I have just missed out on meeting the man I am supposed to marry on TV, I considered if I could ever be on that show. The answer is a resounding NO!

I have never been a jealous person, and I don't really get jealous of other girls in general. If I am with someone and he chooses to screw it up, fine, his loss! But if I was with The Bachelor, while 26 other women are, too, and he wouldn't even have to make efforts to make me, and only me, feel special, jealousy would probably kill me. I have recently found out that I do, in fact, sometimes have jealous sentiments but only when the boy in question is not mine. One year with my ex-boyfriend I never got jealous even when I saw chicks trying because I knew, at the end of the day, he would go home with me. Once we were separated, though, seeing chicks talk to him made me boil, though. And Ben Higgins? He'd be my boyfriend without any obligation to come home with me... that wouldn't work!

I can easily accept somebody cheating on me. If that happened I wouldn't even shed a tear to tell the guy to get out of my life and feel sorry for him for throwing away my love, because it's good! But on The Bachelor, he isn't even cheating. These girls have to watch him make out with other girls and they don't even have the right to get mad because, well, they signed up for it. I don't wanna hear, know, or especially see the guy I like be with another girl even if he's not my boyfriend, or everyone else's too. At the cocktail parties the abc crew would see me hiding in the bathroom until Ben would come to find me, and then my constant insecurity would require him to tell me over and over that it's me he will choose in the end. Since he wouldn't do that I might as well just clear out now...

I like myself and don't usually feel threatened by girls because I seldom feel like forcing something that should come naturally, so insecurity isn't usually a problem for me. Everyone is free to not choose me and I'd never want to be with someone who wouldn't, even if his name is Ben Higgins. But seeing this pool of absolutely mindblowingly gorgeous girl I'd probably feel like Jay Z waking up next to Beyonce every day; they're just a whole lot hotter than me! Sure, I might have better qualities to some boys, but Ben wouldn't have a penis if these looks wouldn't get in the way of his decision. There is no way I'd walk up to these girls like the contestant Lace and say "I haven't really seen anyone who could compete with me?" What are you talking about, Lace? They are all competition, they are all too hot for their own good and pretttty awesome on top, and if I was Ben I wouldn't choose me...

With a history like mine you really can't be in any kind of relationship that isn't reassuring. They keep saying they trust The Bachelor and their relationship or connection or whatever, but Mamma ain't a trusting person. It's not even unlikely I wouldn't believe Ben I was "The One" even after he proposed to me on national TV, so how could I ever think I'm chill enough (or "trusting") to go through that whole show. I didn't even trust my own father, why would I trust an insanely good-looking national celebrity? Maybe taking part in the show to become one myself, upping my Twitter game a bit and boosting my blog would be a shout, but then, let's face it, I would just fall in love with Ben Higgins, let's not fool ourselves... how could you not? He's adorable!

Evidently, I did my "finding myself" homework before I went on reality TV unlike that chick Lace who just left last night's episode to "try loving herself before she can love someone else". What I learned from that is that I can't be on The Bachelor because I'm crazy in a non-entertaining way, like that girl Samantha that went looking for onions around the Bachelor mansion last season. I'd cry almost the entire time, try to bribe producers to boycott the other contestants, and wouldn't believe Ben that "our connection is real" because he's just too damn good-looking. It's not necessarily insecurity but rather the result of previous experience that hot boys are just very seldom nice people who don't lie, so Ben would have a hard time to make me believe him, which would of course not stop my obsession with him. In short: I'm just not cool enough! Oh well, I don't want to be famous anyways...

No comments:

Post a Comment