Between today and two weeks ago virtually nothing has changed for me: I'm still bored, I'm still unemployed, I still have no money and the vast majority of the people I love live abroad, far away from me. I got used to sleeping as long as I could, not facing the day, sitting on my butt all day, doing nothing but snack. How is it that today I woke up at 8am though, gladly got up, went for a run, had a fruit juice and can't stop smiling? That's right, the sun is out. I have come to realize that that's all it takes.
Of course the cloud of especially unemployment still throws a shadow on the otherwise sunlit environment around me but with sunshine, the ability to be active and an alternative to this god-forsaken room I sit in day in and day out it is easier to distract myself. I try all the time to become a more positive person but when all you're looking at is this computer screen, job applications, and if you're brave enough the clouds outside I find that hard to achieve. It is much easier to be positive if there is in fact something to enjoy, and that is the sun.
I have made this observation a bunch of times in my life. I lived in Glasgow for a year, also known as the most miserable place in this universe, and I was genuinely miserable for pretty much the entire time I lived there. It is impossible to wake up energized when you open the curtains to yet another day of pouring rain. In one year I once managed to sit in a beer garden, with a hoodie that is, and twice got some ice cream. If that is reality the negativity comes much easier than the optimism. How did I manage to stay positive and smiling although everything around me was drowning in rain and darkness? That' right, I didn't!
The truth is that once the sun is out I feel like I don't get to be sad. Imagine a sunny day and a guy with a frown walking down the street; I find that hard to imagine. People are nicer, we're not cold, we get to be outside and see the world that is waiting to be explored, only that that is no fun when it rains. My favorite part about sunny days is the air. Although it's still winter I smell that spring is coming. Warm air just smells better than the one cleaned by rain. And the extra sunlight and warmth does the rest.
My life rocks/sucks just as much as it did two weeks ago when it was dark at 4pm due to an outrageous amount of rain clouds but the fact is I feel a hundred times better now. I have no reason to be happy: I'm just as lost as I was two weeks ago, still no job, still bored and alone. However, today, on a sunny day with almost 20 degrees it doesn't bother me as much. I can turn on some music and sing along because it feels right, and not paradox. With sunshine having this effect on me I now look forward to a fantastic rest of the year because let's hope we're done with winter. Oh gosh, please!
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